


To Begin Again

by kumo_is_kumo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-11 19:08:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7904230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kumo_is_kumo/pseuds/kumo_is_kumo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baekhyun says he has moved on, but in reality, he has not. Chanyeol says he doesn’t care, but in reality, he does. It’s the perfect reason to start everything again, isn’t it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted under Asianfanfics: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1132207/

Everything starts when the goddamn professor is making a big fuss by giving the most difficult assignment for the semester and Baekhyun is this close to rip his hair out of his head.

Where should he find a damn programmer to discuss and finish his big ass assignment in less than three months?

“I’m killing someone soon.” He mutters through gritted teeth, ignoring Kyungsoo who is ignoring his remark.

He is not a computer major or shit so he doesn’t understand on how to build a program for his assignment. He is an accounting major, for fuck’s sake!

“You look calm, Kyungsoo.” He sighs, turning to his friend slash seatmate ever since the first semester he comes into this college.

His friend, short and big eyes, glances lazily towards him before turning back onto the counting assignment he is doing. Baekhyun huffs, slamming down the empty cup of his cappuccino.

“I have done it.” Came Kyungsoo’s answer in the next minute.

Baekhyun has never turned his head this fast and he thinks he might hear the axis in his neck snaps.

“You do? You can do it and you don’t tell me about it?!”

Okay, he might be overreacting but this is a big ass assignment, so come on.

His friend heaves a tires sigh before turning to him.

“How do you think I could do it? Of course not me.”

“Then who?”

“Someone else.”

“Stop beating around the bush and tell me, Do Kyungsoo!” Baekhyun grunts in despair.

“Someone with the name of Kim Joonmyeon. I know him but I don’t know him that well.”

“Who’s that? Can you bring me to him?”

“He is Jongin’s cousin’s friend. Long story short, he is asking for payment while he will build your program.” Kyungsoo explains slowly, tapping away his calculator and writes down the counting into his paper.

“You sneaky little bastard, how could you leave me alone just because Jongin manages to pull some strings with that programmer?”

“I could ask Jongin and tell him to ask Jongdae to ask his friend whether he could still do yours.”

“Kyungsoo, you are my life savior.” Baekhyun exclaims, tears forming in his eyes.

His friend’s mouth quirks up in a quick smile before he is back to finish counting the numbers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Jongin said that Jongdae said that his friend said he is booked fully and he is no longer accepting program building request.”

“Oh nooooooooooooooooooooo.” Baekhyun moans, grunting against his researching books.

“You can find someone else to help you, Baekhyun. Stop being a drama queen.” Kyungsoo mutters, giving his back a few pats.

“I’m in the middle of crisis right now; of course I will be a drama queen! What should I do now? Oh God…”

He is panicking because he overhears everyone has started to do the program building while he is still crying over the fact that he is forever alone.

“Fuck, I’m not going to pass this one!” Baekhyun moans pitifully, running his fingers all over his locks to mess them.

Kyungsoo steals a glance at him before he frowns for a short moment, seems like thinking for a bit.

“Why don’t you ask for that one person? He is a computer major, isn’t he?”

Baekhyun snaps his head up, neck making a cracking sound but he pays no mind to it.

“Who? Who’s that?!”

“I remember you telling me about that boy from that IT College just a few blocks from here. Who’s again his name?”

Baekhyun waits patiently while trying his best to remember which blabber of his that Kyungsoo means.

“Oh. Park Chanyeol, isn’t it?”

Baekhyun’s hopeful smile drops.

 

 

 

 

Right.

Park Chanyeol is a computer major.

From the IT College just a few blocks from their accounting college.

And, fuck it.

Park Chanyeol is his ex.

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun knew Park Chanyeol when they were in the middle school. At the third grade in middle school, they got into the same class together and that was also one of the best moments Baekhyun had ever had in his life.

Silent, nerdy, glasses boy. That was how he could picture Park Chanyeol.

Park Chanyeol was the epitome of smart boy.

He was kind and friendly; he befriended everyone, including Baekhyun. At first, Baekhyun didn’t really recognize him because, well, who would pay attention to nerdy boy who he barely talked to?

It was on one fine evening, when Baekhyun was (surprisingly) studying. His old version phone with hard buttons rang from a new text message. It was coming from one of his friends.

The text message was superbly childish. Well, you know when you were at that time when all you could do to entertain yourself with old phone was to receive silly messages and sharing them to more people?

Yep, that was it.

 

 

_It’s time to be honest!_

_What do you want to tell me?_

  1. _I hate you_
  2. _I like you_
  3. _I love you_
  4. _I’m your friend_
  5. _I’m your best mate_
  6. _We are lover_
  7. _We are sworn enemies_
  8. _Will you be my lover?_



_Choose one or two to describe what you feel to me!_

 

 

 

So in the end, Baekhyun typed back a reply to his friend before excitedly shared the message to almost all his contact lists (save for his family) and not giving a mind about his phone bills (ignore it for a while).

Well, Baekhyun didn’t even remember how he could even have Park Chanyeol in his contact list but he ended up sending it to him, too, so who cares.

One by one his friends replied him with their own answers and Baekhyun laughed at them.

And Park Chanyeol replied.

Baekhyun didn’t really remember that he sent Park Chanyeol the message but when he opened the reply, let’s just said Baekhyun got the shock of the day.

_Can I choose 2, 3, and 8?_

What the hell.

Cue the thumping of hearts and blushing cheeks, Baekhyun cursed himself for being such a weakling and being so easily swooned with just a mere subtle affection.

So, he replied back with, “Thank you?”

Because, what else should he reply with?

And Park Chanyeol had the nerve to reply with, “It’s my honor :)”

That was how everything started; where Baekhyun began to feel weird butterflies in his stomach and for him to start noticing things Park Chanyeol did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Their middle school was close to Baekhyun’s house so he found himself walking to and from the said school. It was just that he hadn’t really realized before but Park Chanyeol was taking the bus and the bus stop was near the intersection to his house.

One sunny noon and when Baekhyun was panting because of the heat, he felt someone was walking right behind him. Oh he heard so many words from his mom about bad people trying to rob and it made him paranoid because uh, who would walk so close behind you unless you knew them?

“Baekhyun,”

A jolt rippled all over his body as his name was mentioned. Baekhyun spun on his heels and found Park Chanyeol with a silly smile on his face, towering over him.

“…oh, hi.”

“Going home?” Park Chanyeol asked the obvious and Baekhyun held back himself from rolling his eyes.

“Yes.” He answered shortly and then continued to walk, with Park Chanyeol walking beside him by now.

“Your house is near?” Chanyeol asked again and Baekhyun nodded.

“How about you?”

“Oh, I take the bus,” Chanyeol smiled, eyes squeezed behind those nerdy glasses.

Baekhyun hummed and nodded absentmindedly.

They walked together and ended crossing the street together, before finally Chanyeol said bye to him and hop in to the bus. Baekhyun waved bye to him before he rushed back to his own house, unable to stop thinking that it was a bit creepy. He didn’t even hear Park Chanyeol’s footsteps walking from afar and then he was just all so suddenly behind him.

He didn’t think much about that but that day changed everything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ever since that day, Baekhyun often found Park Chanyeol rushing after him to walk beside him as they went back from the school.

Baekhyun was not really thinking about that at the beginning, but then he became used to have Chanyeol walking beside him and awkwardly chatting with him on every noon.

Okay, so Park Chanyeol might be a nerd and weird, but he did some things that made Baekhyun went crazy in the inside and heart fluttering.

 

 

 

 

 

 

They crossed the street at that noon, and then stopped while waiting for the chance to cross again.

It was so hot, the weather was too sunny and too good, Baekhyun wiped his sweat away and internally cursed the heat. He missed the stolen glance from Park Chanyeol.

“Are you hot?”

“Well, kind of.” Baekhyun muttered.

It was unseen but Chanyeol offered him his white cap for him.

“You can use it if you wanted to.” He said with a smile.

Baekhyun blinked, unsure of what to do or what to say but he could feel the increasing of his heart beats.

“N-No, it’s fine. My house is near anyway.” He rejected politely. The voice inside his head was screaming for him to take the cap and to just enjoy the moment.

Chanyeol smiled and nodded his head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another noon and Baekhyun thought that after school noon had become the time to the both of them of getting closer.

Right after they crossed the street and right before Chanyeol got into the bus, he stopped and turned to face Baekhyun.

“Hey, take this.”

Baekhyun found a single candy in the palm of Chanyeol and he blinked questioningly, before he took it thankfully. Chanyeol smiled and waved bye to him before he finally got into the bus.

Once he was home, Baekhyun found himself staring at the orange-colored candy on top of his desk.

A small smile was formed on his lips.

Sweet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

At school, Baekhyun became more observant to everything Chanyeol was doing. It was like every single move from Chanyeol had Baekhyun turning his head to him.

They had never talked about that silly text message in the beginning. Baekhyun was too coward and too prideful to even mention that. Chanyeol was maybe forgetting about it.

 

 

 

Their middle school ended with a wrap. The farewell party was a blur to Baekhyun because he had too much fun sipping onto the juice and tasting every cake. He didn’t even realize that he missed Park Chanyeol.

 

 

 

 

 

 

High school. The place for you to find more about yourself, find more friends, or find real love. But it was also the place resembling hell. At least for Baekhyun.

Baekhyun got into a regular class, well he was pretty smart and all, but let’s just say that he disliked competition and ended up asking to be out of the list into the smart kids class.

Park Chanyeol was smart. Like, really smart. And he ended up getting into that class where all the kids were studying nonstop and debating about lessons like they were talking about the weather.

 

 

 

 

“I don’t really want to be in that class actually,” Chanyeol told him that one time, a few days after entrance ceremony day.

Baekhyun turned to him, “Then step back and join us in the regular class.”

Chanyeol glanced at him, staring into his eyes. “Should I?”

“Only if you really wanted to.” Baekhyun responded, seeing the slight nod from Park Chanyeol.

 

 

 

 

_I asked to be placed into your class. Let’s see whether it could happen._

Baekhyun stared wide eyes at the text message from Chanyeol at that night. Chanyeol wanted to be in the same class as him? Like for real?

A giggle escaped from his mouth before Baekhyun could even stop himself.

 

 

 

 

Disappointed. That was what Baekhyun felt at the next day.

Chanyeol was able to get out of the smarty kids class but he was not in Baekhyun’s class. He was placed in the next door class.

“Why?”

“Your class is too full, the teacher said.” Chanyeol offered the answer with a small smile.

Baekhyun had almost whined because he had already looked forward to have Chanyeol in the same class as him again.

“Alright. At least you are just next door.” He murmured lowly.

Chanyeol smiled at him.

 

 

 

 

Just like before, the after school became their own time. Baekhyun often found himself walking through the cafeteria alongside Chanyeol. It was like they were getting closer, almost to the point of being boyfriends.

Chanyeol was a bit weird. He talked a lot at some times, but he would also turn into this awkward turtle where no one could predict what his next move would be.

“Oh, there’s my big brother.” He said and it made Baekhyun froze.

I mean, his big brother? Baekhyun would meet him now? In this crumpled uniform?

He hesitantly walked behind Chanyeol who was now heading closer to where his big brother was seating.

“Hey, hyung,” he greeted.

Oh wow. It was like good looking was running in their family. Both Chanyeol and his brother were handsome and tall and just baby faced. The fact made Baekhyun cowered a bit.

“Oh, hey, Chanyeol.” His brother greeted him back, before his eyes fleet towards Baekhyun.

“Hey, Baekhyun. This is my hyung, and your soon-to-be brother in law.” Chanyeol said all of too sudden, making Baekhyun stuttered a reply and he couldn’t do anything other than gaping like a fish.

Luckily, the big brother didn’t really say anything about what his brother had just said. Chanyeol waved him bye and headed towards the aunty selling snacks.

He bought some candies and lollipops before they settled to sit at the stony bench just beside the front gate.

“The lesson is a bit hard,” Baekhyun complained, propping himself up with his palms flat to the bench behind him and already regained himself back from the culture shock of how Chanyeol had introduced his brother to him.

Chanyeol, who was chewing onto the chewy candy, nodded his head.

Like what Baekhyun had said before, Park Chanyeol was a freaking weirdo and none of his movement could be predicted.

A stick of half eaten candy was held in front of Baekhyun’s mouth and Chanyeol was the one holding onto the end of it.

“Want some?” He asked Baekhyun who was currently being in another round of culture shock.

“O-Oh, n-no, it’s f-fine.” He stuttered out an answer and Chanyeol smiled, nodding before going back to gobble down his candies.

Fuck. That was so unpredictable.

Who knew Park freaking Chanyeol was about to feed him candy?

He should have accepted it just now!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun sometimes wondered about what Chanyeol was thinking and feeling about him. They hung out together and they went around the school together; people who knew them said they looked like they were boyfriends.

And Baekhyun couldn’t help but to feel his heart was beating way too fast to his liking whenever he was being around Chanyeol. Hey, you couldn’t blame him. Baekhyun was a sucker for romance, okay?

But still, no one could understand the way Park Chanyeol was thinking so it was kind of hard to know what kind of feeling Chanyeol was having towards him.

 

 

 

 

They took the bus together now that they were in high school. Unfortunately for Baekhyun, his house was far from the school and he had to take two buses to reach home.

And unfortunately for Baekhyun again, they first bus journey was spent with Chanyeol, but the second bus journey was spent with himself sitting alone.

 

 

 

 

“Chanyeol?” He called into the empty classroom, where no one except Chanyeol was inside. Everyone had already gone to their own respective home because the bell had rung about five minutes ago.

Baekhyun peeked his head into the class and found Chanyeol sitting by himself on his seat, writing on something.

“Hey, Baekhyun.”

“What are you doing here alone?” Baekhyun stepped in, his backpack swinging on his shoulder as he joined Chanyeol in sitting beside him.

“I’m just finishing a bit of the note. Just a moment.” He muttered, copying the note from the blackboard down to his notebook with his small and curvy handwriting.

Baekhyun hummed and looked around the empty class to take his mind away from the boy beside him. Sure, he had spent so much time being around Chanyeol but when they were obviously alone with no one around, it became so awkward and Baekhyun could feel the nervousness was bubbling up in his chest.

He stole a glance at Chanyeol and saw that the boy was wearing his PE uniform since his latest lesson was PE.

“Done.” Chanyeol muttered while closing his book and putting it into his light gray bag.

Baekhyun nodded his head as he stood up and did a stretch. He glanced back as Chanyeol stood up from his seat and went towards the door. A small sight of something out of place took Baekhyun’s attention.

“Wait,” he called and Chanyeol spun around.

Baekhyun made a gesture with his finger, “Turn around.”

Chanyeol obeyed and Baekhyun reached up to tidy up his crooked back collar. It was thrilling for Baekhyun to do this because they had never had certain skin ship.

“Thanks.” Chanyeol spoke with a small smile before he got out of the class.

Baekhyun wondered what Chanyeol felt about him, because apparently Baekhyun had fallen a bit too hard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

While it was all sweet, they passed towards the second grade of high school and that was when Baekhyun realized that something had changed.

Chanyeol changed.

He didn’t know what had happened but it was out of his control and he was really clueless on whatever the reason Chanyeol seemed to be so distant from him.

They didn’t get into the same class again as they went through the second grade of high school. They were separated by two rooms and Baekhyun thought that it was okay, alright, no problem would be happening just because they were separated by two doors.

But Chanyeol became so distant that Baekhyun wondered what fault he had done.

They didn’t hang out together anymore and Baekhyun thought that maybe he really did wrong, moreover when that one time Baekhyun walked out of his classroom and found that Chanyeol was walking a few meters from him.

He braced himself to say hi to him because God knew how long they had not had a proper conversation, but his effort was futile when Chanyeol didn’t even knowledge his presence. It was like Baekhyun was invisible or Chanyeol was just really ignoring him purposely.

Baekhyun’s steps slowed down as he felt how his chest felt so sour and heavy. Chanyeol ignored him.

He ignored Baekhyun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rumor from his close friend that a girl in Chanyeol’s class was hitting on him. The news made Baekhyun swallowed a heavy lump in his throat and he was determined to, at least, show the girl that Chanyeol was his.

Even though they had not had any name to put over their vague relationship.

“Chanyeol?” He called at the entrance of the classroom and some of the people that he knew quite well were greeting him with teasing gaze. They apparently knew that he had a rather special relationship with Chanyeol.

“He is right there.” One of the people told him while pointing to the corner of the classroom where Chanyeol was standing and talking about something to some girls.

Baekhyun felt his heart dropped and he shook his head, offering a fake smile to the kind person telling him where Chanyeol was.

“He seems busy. I will just talk to him later. Thanks.”

Then he rushed away because Baekhyun didn’t even know how long he could hold back from breaking down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun felt Chanyeol was like playing with him.

When he was all determined to ignore the nagging feeling and just went along with his life, Chanyeol appeared all smiles as if he had not been ignoring him for a few weeks and started a friendly conversation with him.

He wondered what Chanyeol was thinking because Baekhyun was sure as hell that he didn’t need to be played like this.

 

 

 

 

The second grade passed just like a cold breeze and Baekhyun found himself just a door away from Chanyeol as they entered the last grade in high school.

Baekhyun found some entertainments by making new friends and busying himself with the upcoming exams. Chanyeol was still at the back of his mind but he paid it no mind because he knew that his future was important other than a mere puppy love.

Chanyeol was like a rollercoaster, because he was unpredictable in bringing Baekhyun up or down.

He was acting all friendly again and Baekhyun was left clutching onto his chest, wondering what the hell Chanyeol was thinking for making him like this. He hated the fact that even though he acted as if he didn’t care a bit about Chanyeol, he knew that Chanyeol unsurprisingly held half of the control over Baekhyun.

There was a bit of relief that Baekhyun didn’t find any girl standing beside Chanyeol as his girlfriend so he guessed that Chanyeol was still single.

 

 

 

 

The time had come for them to choose whether to continue to the college or to work right after their high school graduation. Most students in his school chose to continue to the college and Baekhyun decided the same.

He talked to Chanyeol on a few occasions and they became the usual friends, even though there was something unfinished between them.

Baekhyun heard from his friends that Chanyeol would be applying to the IT College. He didn’t think Chanyeol would apply to that college but Baekhyun wouldn’t be a fool to be following him to that college just to be together with him. Baekhyun knew he had his own future.

“I’m hoping to get into the best college in the town.” Baekhyun had muttered while he was spending the evening with Chanyeol at school because of an assignment.

“Why won’t you apply there too?” He asked Chanyeol who was only standing silently beside him while watching the birds flying along the evening sky.

“No.” He simply answered with a smile.

Baekhyun wondered what that smile meant.

 

 

 

 

They got a bit closer as they were nearing the end of the third grade of high school.

Baekhyun couldn’t get into the best college in the town and he dejectedly applied to the Economic and Business College.

Then the graduating exams appeared in the flash of his eyes and with a smile plus some encouraging words to each other, they worked on the exams.

 

 

 

 

Graduation.

Baekhyun found himself happy yet afraid of what his future would be.

At the farewell party, Baekhyun tried his best to look good even though he was still lost to the girls wearing glamorous dresses and expensive necklaces.

The event was happy and everyone was laughing.

Baekhyun laughed and chatted with his friends, but he couldn’t help to glance towards where Chanyeol was sitting with his friends.

It was as if his pray was heard because Baekhyun found Chanyeol slipping onto the seat beside him after a while.

“Hey,” he greeted with a smile.

“Hey there.” Baekhyun replied him with his own smile.

They spent the rest of the night chatting lightly and Baekhyun was way too happy because Chanyeol stayed by his side for the rest of the night.

“Baekhyun, let’s take some pictures.” He offered all of suddenly, taking Baekhyun aback because Chanyeol had never wanted to be in a photo, be it with him or even with his friends on some occasions.

It was one of the happiest moment in that night for Baekhyun.

 

 

 

 

As the end of the night was nearing, Baekhyun began to fidget because he couldn’t help it but thought that it might be the last time they met each other.

Their relationship would always remain platonic as friends. Nothing more.

A part of him wanted to tell Chanyeol everything he felt to him, about how much he liked him, _loved_ him, but another part of him told him to stop thinking so crazy and to not act on impulse.

By the end of the night, Baekhyun wondered how Chanyeol didn’t realize how fidgety he was or maybe he was just ignoring it.

In the end, Baekhyun left without a single mention of his feelings.

 

 

 

 

They kept on contact for the next few days, still feeling friendly with each other while having nothing to do in home.

Light conversation turned into something heavy as Baekhyun was the one who started it.

_I’m liking this song recently. Bruno Mars, When I Was Your Man. You should check it out._

Baekhyun couldn’t help but to be a masochist. He should have known that Chanyeol had never once responding to him whenever he tried to talk about their vague relationship. Chanyeol had always found his ways to get out of it by changing the topic of their conversation.

 _What kind of song is it? I don’t really check on western songs._ Chanyeol has responded.

Feeling bold, Baekhyun told him to go find the lyrics and the long reply Chanyeol gave him made him went cold.

 

 

 

_I’m sorry if I had any mistake to you, Baekhyun. Maybe what I had done to you caused some misunderstandings or maybe I was the only one thinking too much._

_I feel so bad towards you because, I admit that we were very close when we were in the first grade of high school. When I think back about it, I realize how such a kid I was._

_But now I don’t know what I should do, I don’t want to make you angry or even worse, hurt you. I know by this long break, we wouldn’t be able to meet that often._

_Now what do you think about it?_

_All my friends had also talked to me about this. About this thing between us, about how I should not drag this for too long. But everytime I try to start talking to you, I don’t find the right time._

 

 

_I don’t understand, Chanyeol. What are you trying to say?_

 

 

_How do you think of me?_

 

 

_You are kind, Chanyeol. Way too kind._

 

 

_Do you think we would be fit to be boyfriends?_

 

 

_What do you think, Chanyeol?_

 

 

_Actually, we wouldn’t know without trying it out but… for all this time, I don’t know what to do. I think too much and I have too many what ifs._

 

 

_What about you then? Do you have any feeling for me, Chanyeol?_

 

 

_I have._

_But I think every relationship needs to be maintained._

 

 

_I don’t understand, Chanyeol, really. What do you want know? Everything’s depended on your choice._

 

 

_Honestly, I’m still not sure and not quite ready to be having any romantic relationship._

_I’m hoping that we could be close friends because I like spending time with you. You are a good friend, Baekhyun._

 

 

_I don’t know. I’ve been waiting for the past three years and if it was your decision, then okay._

_But, until when will you make me wait? It feels like you are hanging me up. Maybe for you, this doesn’t mean too much but for me, it is. It hurts me, Chanyeol._

_We can still be friends after this, yes, but I think you have to make a decision. It would be better for the both of us._

 

 

_Thank you, Baekhyun. Without you, I don’t know whether I would be the same person as of right now. Don’t think this as an end, but think this as a start. I know how it feels to be left by someone, everyone does. But please know that this is my fault, you can blame me, it’s okay. I just hope we can still be friends._

 

 

_What do you mean as a start, Chanyeol? Is it a start as friends or start for something more serious? Can you make me believe that this start would have the right end? Because if you didn’t even know whether this would have a destination or not, don’t you think it would hurt me?_

_You start this, Chanyeol, so tell me what you want._

 

 

_To be honest, I’m a pathetic young man who has very little experience about love. There are many people out there who can give you more care than me. For now, I would like to focus on study and work. So I would like us to be best friends, to help each other. If we were really destined, then so be it._

_You are the first one to give me such attention and care, Baekhyun. I’m so happy, so happy that it hurts me because I realize that I can’t give you anything in return. So it would be better if we became friends for now._

 

 

_Alright, if you said so. I hope you will do great in your study and work, Chanyeol. Thank you for the answer, Chanyeol. I really appreciate it._

_You are also the first one to give me this kind of feeling, so thank you for making me happy._

_I love you._

 

 

_Thank you, Baekhyun._

 

 

 

In the very end, it was Baekhyun who got his heart hurt. No amount of tears he shed could even tell you how much in pain he was.

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

It’s hard, really hard to move on.

Baekhyun puts on a smile on his face everyday, every fucking single day because people think he has moved on.

He has not.

It’s not easy to erase all the memory of that unique tall male with boyish grin and charming laughter.

He can’t.

He can’t, because Baekhyun is not strong.

Ever since he gets into the college and starting his college life, sure, Baekhyun gets lots of new friends and he enjoys his life as an adult. He gets to have fun, hanging out with his friends at the noodle houses, at karaoke room, doing crazy things together.

But it still feels empty. It’s like he is leaving his life behind and just simply tries to blend in a new life which is foreign to him.

His first year in college goes smoothly, trying to get used to the sudden freedom and a bit addition of big assignments. No news about Chanyeol.

The second year goes a bit busier than before. He gets more new friends and gets to know one boy. Baekhyun tries, he really tries to move on, by talking more with the boy but it’s hard when all he thinks in his head is Chanyeol. So he stops before he is leading the boy and ends up being the bad one here. Still no news about Chanyeol.

The start of the third year makes Baekhyun crazy because of the absurd assignment from the professor and by the mention of Chanyeol’s name from Kyungsoo (he remembers telling Kyungsoo about Chanyeol at the first year because apparently Kyungsoo knows some friends who go to the IT College and know Chanyeol as well), he can’t do anything else and doesn’t even have the choice.

Other than contacting Park freaking Chanyeol again.

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun wonders whether Chanyeol is still using the same phone numbers or he has already changed it.

It has been two and a half year; anything can happen in the span of the time.

Who knows Chanyeol has already found a boyfriend or girlfriend. He is handsome and boyish and cheerful, everyone will want to be his friend.

 

_Hey, Chanyeol. This is Baekhyun and I hear from my friend, Somin, that you are helping him with his programming assignment. I am wondering whether you can help me as well?_

 

Yes, after the idea from Kyungsoo, Baekhyun overhears his classmate who goes with the name of Somin (they got into the same high school so they kind of know each other) is getting help from Park Chanyeol. So after discussing it with Somin who encourages him to try and ask Chanyeol to get help.

And here Baekhyun, waiting for a reply from him.

It takes five minutes before his phone vibrates from the reply.

“Kyungsoo, I’m so nervous. What do I do?”

He gets a light hit on his arm from Kyungsoo who mutters, “Open it and read what he replies.”

 

_Ah, yes. Baekhyun from economic college, right? Yeah, I’m helping Somin. You can tell me more about your assignment._

 

“He says yes...”

“Congrats. Now get to work and tell him everything.”

And that is how Baekhyun finds himself texting every single detail about his assignment to Park Chanyeol.

 

_This is a bit difficult to be explained here. Should we meet up?_

 

What the hell. Park Chanyeol asks him to meet up.

 

_Sure. Where and when?_

 

Confident. Baekhyun needs to show that he is confident and not affected by him.

 

_Tomorrow at the café near my college. Is it okay?_

 

_Okay._

 

Remember, Baekhyun. It’s over between the two of you and this clearly not a date. Not a fucking date.

Just a mere meet up between a programmer and a client.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Baekhyun?”

He hears his name is being called with the oh-so-familiar deep voice and Baekhyun can’t help but shivering in delight. His body still remembers the old times.

With thundering heart, Baekhyun turns around and stopping himself from sipping onto his steaming latte, and finally meets eyes with the only man he has ever loved so much.

Baekhyun feels his heart stops for a moment before it beats way faster than before because he finds himself unable to talk in the presence of Park Chanyeol.

Chanyeol has not changed too much. He just changes his nerdy glasses into more fashionable ones and he gets taller than before. He wears a wrist watch now and he has his hair ruffled messily but still seemed neatly.

It’s really hard for Baekhyun to hold back; he wants to cry.

 

 

 

 

“H-Hi. Chanyeol.”

His voice is so weak and soft, there is no confident Baekhyun left in it. He feels bare and transparent in front of Chanyeol.  It feels like Chanyeol can read him easily without even trying to do.

Chanyeol gives him a charming smile, one that shows friendly and happy to see a good old friend.

“How are you? I haven’t heard from you for so long.” He adds softly, slipping onto the seat across one Baekhyun is occupying.

Baekhyun opens his mouth yet no sound can escape from it because he doesn’t even know what to answer. It’s not his fault; Chanyeol seems to be avoiding him ever since those last text messages.

“I-I’m fine. S-Should we start?” He adds quickly to prevent Chanyeol from talking about the past again.

His chest is hurting so badly. He can’t breathe. He wants this to end quickly.

Chanyeol stays silent for a second before sending him a smile then he nods, “Sure. Tell me about your assignment then.”

Baekhyun scrambles to pull out his journal from his bad and causes his pen to slip out of it and then falls onto the ground.

He barely hears Chanyeol’s soft whisper, “Still so clumsy.”

 

 

 

 

After about half an hour of Baekhyun explaining everything about his assignment to Chanyeol who is concentrating and typing away in his laptop, they stay silent while Chanyeol continues to do some things in his laptop while Baekhyun?

He continues to avoid his eyes for the entire time.

“I see. I get it now. How long again until the assignment’s deadline?” Chanyeol asks, shutting down the lid of his laptop and graces him with a smile.

Baekhyun grips onto his fingers tightly under the table and glances away, pretending to be thinking while in fact he is avoiding that smile.

“Umm… in about three months. Are you sure you can help me? I don’t want to burden you.”

Chanyeol laughs softly, “I can do it. It’s okay.”

“Thank you so much. When- when do you think you can finish this? Is it going to be difficult or…?” Baekhyun mutters, still avoiding his eyes while shoving his journal and pen into his bag.

“I will try to finish it as fast as I can, but I will have to contact you more to see whether what I make will be to your liking.”

Chanyeol. Contact more.

Baekhyun loses his mind.

“A-Alright. I-I have a plan with my friends, i-is it okay if I went f-first?”

He can’t keep this any longer. He needs to hide.

“Sure. I will text you soon, Baekhyun.”

Then Baekhyun quickly rises up from his seat, bowing thankfully to him, before sprinting out of the café.

As soon as he gets back into the safety of his bedroom, Baekhyun drops onto his knees and lets the unshed tears to spill out, wetting the fabric of his jeans.

It has been two and half years; yet Baekhyun can still feel how much in love he is with Chanyeol.

 

 

 

 

Fate must be playing with me; Baekhyun muses in his mind, feeling all sort of feelings at once.

Yes, he indeed needs help, because this is an urgent thing and has to be finished in less than three months.

But just give him anyone. Anyone but _him_.

It won’t be easy. To spend all three months with his ex-boyfriend which he claims to has moved on from.

Oh, no. Not an ex-boyfriend. They don’t even get into a relationship back then.

Chanyeol doesn’t even want to be in a relationship with him.

 

 

 

 

 

_Hey, Baekhyun. This is Chanyeol. I have finished a small part of it, do you want to check it out?_

 

Baekhyun stares at the text message, unable to form a response to it.

He has had a hard time sleeping at night for the whole week because Chanyeol’s face is swimming in his brain without giving him a proper time to rest, but now the real one is asking him to meet up.

 

_Okay. Where?_

 

It will be good if it was near his house so that he can rush over and cry his eyes out after his meeting with Chanyeol.

 

_Is there any café near your college? I’m heading that way, actually._

 

Baekhyun panics because he is not wearing any great clothes today. But wait- he does not need to impress Chanyeol.

 

_Yes, there is one ear the bakery._

 

 

_Alright, Baekhyun. I will be there in ten minutes. Are you free now, by the way? I forget to ask._

 

 

_Yes._

 

 

It’s not that cold, right? Because Baekhyun doesn’t know what else to reply other than the word of yes.

 

 

 

 

“Here, you can see which one you want to keep or to change. I will edit it soon.” Chanyeol says to him, pushing his laptop towards him and Baekhyun gives him a short nod.

He is kind of glad, because they are not saying anything other than about the assignment. Baekhyun is ready to bolt out of the café after they seem to be finished, but Chanyeol’s next words stop him from doing so.

“I don’t remember you wearing glasses, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun unconsciously reaches up to touch his mentioned glasses. Yes, he wears glasses right after he enters the college because his eyes have a bit problem in seeing things and words in the far away.

“Ah, yes. I need them.”

Chanyeol smiles to him from where he sits across him, “You look cute.”

Baekhyun stops breathing. His heart feels heavy as memories and nostalgia come back hitting him like tons of bricks.

“I-I need to go now.”

He quickly runs out of the café, unable to take atmosphere for any longer.

What he doesn’t expect is to hear soft footsteps following him. He braves himself to look back through his shoulder and he finds Chanyeol is the one following him, with a smile playing on his mouth.

“What are you doing here?” Baekhyun finds back his voice as he keeps walking.

“I’m heading to the bus stop as well.” Chanyeol answers him smartly.

Baekhyun nods to his answer and he fastens his legs just because. It’s inevitable because Chanyeol is trying to keep his pace with his and it’s making Baekhyun really hard to avoid him.

They end up taking the bus together but luckily, Baekhyun gets the first stop and runs down the vehicle without giving him any word.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It happens like a domino. Once he has Chanyeol following behind him, it happens continuously.

Just like years ago, where hearts are still thundering in love and no hard feelings are involved.

Baekhyun cries harder. He wants to move on, he really wants to forget Chanyeol and just lives his life happily, but Chanyeol is making this so hard that he is slowly losing his mind.

 

 

 

 

They meet in once a week.

At the beginning of the third month, Baekhyun realizes that his assignment’s deadline is nearing and he only has about two more weeks before this will over.

Everything will be over and he doesn’t have to do this pretend date anymore. He will part ways with Chanyeol and everything will be back to normal. They will forget each other and find their own respective life back.

But the first week in the third month where they are about to meet, Baekhyun finds himself standing right in the middle of Chanyeol’s bedroom.

Why? Because Chanyeol’s laptop has a bit problem and he can only use his PC.

 

 

 

 

“Sit down, Baekhyun. Make yourself comfortable.” Chanyeol tells him with a friendly smile.

Baekhyun nods, fingers tightly clutching onto the strap of his bag. He slips onto the chair beside the one Chanyeol is sitting in front of his PC. He can see the outline of his assignment which Chanyeol is working on and he can see an A from his professor already. It’s really good; Chanyeol is really good.

“Do you like it? I choose random color and picture and font style, but you can change it to your liking. But, is this okay?”

Baekhyun absentmindedly nods his head, because yes, he really likes what Chanyeol has made. Everything is really similar to what he imagines in his head when he first gets this assignment and to see that product right in front of his eyes, he can’t stop staring at it in awe.

Chanyeol chuckles and grabs the mouse, clicking onto some things before pushing the mouse into Baekhyun’s hands.

“Now, you can choose the colors, pictures, font, and any other things. I think this can be done soon right after you finish the misc things.”

Baekhyun nods and shakily grabs the mouse from Chanyeol’s hand, carefully to not brush his fingers over his skin.

 

 

 

 

It’s exciting to have his own doing as well in the work. He feels like Chanyeol is the one doing everything and now he gets to decorate the computing program with the colors and styles he likes.

He is not aware of the stares Chanyeol is giving him.

 

 

 

 

It happens way too fast; Baekhyun doesn’t even see a single move of Chanyeol’s hands.

But there is a hand hovering over his which is holding onto the mouse and another hand holding onto the back of his neck, like controlling his movement.

Chanyeol moves swiftly, leaning in close, and then he kisses him.

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun freezes.

He is unable to move. He can see how close Chanyeol’s face is to his. He can see how tilted Chanyeol’s head is as he does this to avoid their glasses from bumping each other. He can feel Chanyeol’s warm fingers touching the skin of his neck. He can feel Chanyeol’s warm breath hitting the side of his cheek.

He can feel Chanyeol’s plush lips pressing against his own.

 

 

 

 

It takes five seconds before Chanyeol is leaning back, mouth parted, and eyes staring expectantly at him.

Baekhyun doesn’t know what to do.

He can feel his tears are pricking in his eyes and how his fingers are trembling because he needs to hold onto something. Before he is falling too deep.

 

 

 

“Baekhyun, I—”

 

 

 

He doesn’t even let Chanyeol finishes his words as Baekhyun scrambles back to grab onto his bag and runs out of the house. He can hear the distinct call from Chanyeol as he slips into his shoes and slams the front door open. He ignores every single call of his name and he runs, runs away as quick as his legs can bring him; tears clouding his vision.

Chanyeol kisses him.

What does that mean?

Baekhyun runs, chest in pain and eyes blurred from tears. He is far away from Chanyeol’s house and he doesn’t even remember how he manages to get back to his house. Up until he locks himself in his room, does he remember that Chanyeol has kissed him and, and he surprisingly feels hurt because of that.

He doesn’t even understand why his heart is beating so fast though. He should have hate Chanyeol for what he has done to him, but he can’t help it. These tears are because of him and for him. This heart is beating because of him and longing for him.

Baekhyun knows just no matter how much he tries, he is still deeply in love with Chanyeol.

He just doesn’t know how to stop it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He avoids every single text message and call coming from Chanyeol and muffles his cries into his pillow.

 

_Baekhyun, please reply to me if you read this._

_Please don’t ignore me._

_Can you answer my call?_

_Can we talk, Baekhyun?_

_Baekhyun, are you okay?_

_I’m sorry, everything’s my fault._

_Please, at least reply that you are okay._

_I’m sorry._

_I’m really sorry for my stupidity, Baekhyun._

 

 

It hurts. Everything hurts. His eyes are hurt from crying. His throat is hurt from wailing. His head is hurt from over thinking.

His heart is hurt; from being too much in love with him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun avoids Chanyeol like a plague and he finally remembers that his assignment is due in two days. He doesn’t even know what to do or how to ask for the finished computing program from Chanyeol. How shameless he will be.

His mom is worried sick with him because he loses his appetite and the swell of his eyes is too visible to be ignored. He reassures her that he is okay, that he is fine, that he is alright, and that she can go to that reunion with her high school friends. He can stay alive for the two days she is not here.

“If anything happened and when I say anything, it means anything, Baekhyun. Call me. Or your dad. I’m sure he will abandon everything he is working in Jeonju and drives back here.”

“Alright, Mom. I will miss you. Take care.” Baekhyun forces himself to smile.

After bidding his mom goodbye, Baekhyun goes back up to his room and curls under his blanket. He wants to cry, but there are no tears left in him.

Chanyeol has stopped contacting him either. Maybe he realizes what he is doing and just how worthless Baekhyun is. He should not waste his time trying to pull an answer from someone who is clearly not going to reply to him.

 

 

“—hyun! Baekhyun!”

 

 

His sleep is interrupted when harsh knocking resounds all over his house.

Baekhyun blinks the sleep away from his eyes and glances at the clock. It’s five in the evening.

Who?

 

 

“Baekhyun!”

 

 

The voice makes him shivers on the spot because it is very similar to Chanyeol’s. It can’t be, right? Chanyeol has ever come to his house once at that Christmas time three years ago. He can’t remember where his house is.

With nervousness ebbing from him, Baekhyun creeps towards the front door where the knocks have stopped at least for now. Heart pounding in his chest and Baekhyun opens the door, only to feel his blood drains from his face. Because it’s really Chanyeol standing there.

With a quick move, he tries to close the door, but Chanyeol is so strong now than years ago, and he presses both his hands against the door to prevent it from closing. Baekhyun stumbles back from the force and Chanyeol invites himself into the house, closing the door behind his back.

It’s silence, save from their ragged breathing.

 

 

 

 

“You are avoiding me and you don’t even reply to my texts.”

Chanyeol speaks lowly, locking his eyes. Baekhyun feels so small under his gaze and he glances away.

“You are getting into my house without any permission. You should get out before I call the police.” Baekhyun congratulates himself for maintaining the steady voice as he says those words to Chanyeol.

It doesn’t send any effect towards him because Chanyeol stops closer to him, holding onto his arm to hold him in place.

“Why, Baekhyun? Don’t you know how worried I am? You should never get away without telling anyone of your whereabouts!” Chanyeol scolds him, as if he cared.

As if he cared.

When in fact, he does not.

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun shrugs his grip and glares at him.

“You do not talk like that to me! Do not act like you care!”

Chanyeol seems surprised for a moment before he regains himself back and he is glaring back.

“I do care!”

“No, you don’t! You are just being considerate because you make a mistake and try to find a way to get rid of your guilty feeling!” Baekhyun barks, no longer cares that he loses control over his emotion and how the end of this is still unseen.

Chanyeol is seething with something, not anger but something more like disbelief and apology.

“Baekhyun, I do ca-”

“Fuck you, Chanyeol! What do you want from me?” Baekhyun grunts because his chest hurts, it really hurts and he has enough of this.

Chanyeol grabs him forcefully by his arms and pulls him close to his chest. Baekhyun struggles, shit, he can’t really refuse Chanyeol when he is doing things like this.

“Baekhyun, let me explain!” Chanyeol hugs him to his chest, ignoring how hard Baekhyun’s fingers are digging.

“What more do you want from me, Chanyeol?” He whispers, defeated and a crying mess by now.

“I’m sorry I am such a coward.” Chanyeol mutters against his head. He tightens his hold around Baekhyun, he is sure Baekhyun can feel it.

He doesn’t get an answer for a while moment. Baekhyun stills in his arms, sniffling quietly.

“Why?” He croaks softly.

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol sighs.

“I am coward who knows such little thing about love. I’m... I’m really sorry, Baekhyun, for causing you so much pain.”

“...is this apology just because of that kiss?” Baekhyun tries to lean back but Chanyeol doesn’t even let him.

“No. I kiss you because I want to.”

“Why?”

“Are you going to keep asking me why?” He asks back.

“Yeah.”

Feeling bold, Chanyeol presses his lips on top of Baekhyun’s head. He feels Baekhyun freezes in his embrace and even tries to get away but he won’t let him.

He won’t let him.

“Baekhyun, please. Don’t chase me away.” He begs.

“I’m tired, Chanyeol. Say what you want to say and then leave me alone.”

“I won’t leave you alone. Not again.”

Baekhyun musters up his strength to push Chanyeol away from him. His head hurts, he doesn’t understand what Chanyeol is talking about. His chest hurts, it’s almost making him unable to breathe.

“I have enough of this, Chanyeol. You tell me you don’t want anything to do with me two years ago. I don’t need to listen to your bullshit, I’m done so please stop making me suffer wi-”

“I love you, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol whispers, stepping closer to him to cup his cheeks and wipe the tears away.

Baekhyun feels so weak. He feels so small under Chanyeol’s burning gaze. His face scrunches up as a new round of tears rolls down his face.

“Why?” He whispers brokenly.

Chanyeol sends him a smile, a broken and an apologizing one at that.

“Because I’m a pathetic young man who has very little experience about love.” He repeats what he tells Baekhyun years ago.

Baekhyun’s lips tremble as he cries a little bit harder. This is too overwhelming for him.

“I-I want to move on. I want to be able to forget you, b-but I can’t.” He confesses, trying his best not to choke on his tears. Chanyeol chuckles bitterly at his crying face.

“I don’t want you to move on. I don’t want you to forget me.” Chanyeol confesses back, kissing away the tears.

Baekhyun lifts a hand up to clutch onto his shirt, wailing like a kid.

“I’m s-still very much i-in l-love with Chanyeol, I can’t help it.”

“Even though I’m such an idiot?” Chanyeol whispers against his temple.

“E-Even though you are an i-idiot.” Baekhyun agrees, sobbing.

“And I’m still very much in love with you, Baekhyun, even though I have never told you this.”

“Are you saying this f-for real? You are not saying this to m-make me feel better?” Baekhyun asks softly, voice small and unsure.

Chanyeol rubs his cheeks away from the remaining tears.

“I’m sorry for not telling you this and for being such a jerk for so many years, but I love you so much, Baekhyun.”

Chanyeol presses a soft kiss on his mouth to stop his sobs. It seems to work because Baekhyun stops sobbing and now blushing.

“Don’t think that you are forgiven just because of this.” He says, releasing his hold from Chanyeol’s shirt and taking a step back.

Chanyeol quickly holds onto his hand and lifts it up, “I know.” He says before pressing a kiss against Baekhyun’s palm.

Baekhyun feels his heart hurts, but this time it hurts because of an entire different reason.

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol finds himself sitting onto Baekhyun’ bed and looking around interestedly while the room owner is in the bathroom to wash his face.

He picks up the glasses on top of the desk and stares at the thing with a small smile.

“Give it back to me.” Baekhyun says as he steps out of the bathroom, holding a towel up and trying to dry his face.

Chanyeol smiles, “You sit back here then.”

Baekhyun huffs and hangs the towel on a chair, before climbing up his bed and sits face to face with Chanyeol.

“You look really nice wearing glasses, Baekhyun.” He comments, still holding onto it but now staring straight at Baekhyun’s face.

Baekhyum glances away from the stare, feeling too overwhelmed. He still can’t believe that Chanyeol is here sitting with him on top of his bed, in his room, and having such a normal conversation with him.

A hand touches his cheek gently and Baekhyun grips onto his bed sheet when Chanyeol leans forward and presses kiss on each of his eyes.

“They are swollen.”

“Of course. Try crying nonstop and this is the result.” Baekhyun murmurs embarrassedly because he is admitting he cries.

“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol says again, tone soft and full of apology.

Baekhyun sighs and plays with the string of his sweat pants. “Stop saying that.”

“But I really am sorry for everything, Baekhyun.”

Chanyeol then gently places the glasses back on him and Baekhyun blinks to adjust his sight.

“What do you do these whole two years?” Chanyeol asks him.

“Living. Studying. Surviving. Trying to move on.”

Chanyeol sends him a look that talks so many meaning but Baekhyun challenges him with a stare of his own.

“You don’t want to be with me, Chanyeol, so I have to move on. Unfortunately, I fail.”

“I know how you feel about me. I can see it, even from the beginning when we meet again. You don’t even want to stare at my eyes. You are too obvious, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol offers him a small bitter smile which Baekhyun can’t help but to mirror.

“Why now, Chanyeol? After two years and you have just to do this now. What are you trying to do?”

He is tired, but he needs to know.

“For the whole two years, I’m blaming myself. I try to see everything from your point of view and I realize what a jerk I have been towards you.”

“You want to focus on your study and work. How is it now?” Baekhyun asks.

“Yes, my study is going very well. And I have a part time job to help my parents financially. I should be happy; someone who has my state will be very satisfied. But I am not. I don’t have you, Baekhyun.”

“Don’t you ever think that for the whole two years I could have moved on and found someone else, just like what you tell me before?” Baekhyun trembles as he says this. He can never replace Chanyeol with someone else.

Chanyeol reaches a hand up hesitantly, thumbing over the dark circle under Baekhyun’s eye.

“I have that thought, of course. You are charming, Baekhyun. Everyone will want to be with you in a heartbeat. I’m just the only idiot one to ignore my feeling for you.”

“Why do you do that? I still can’t understand it, Chanyeol. You tell me you have feeling for me but you don’t want me. How is that even understandable?”

“I want you. I have always wanted you even from years ago. I guess, I am just being an idiotic boy, because I admit how such a nerd I am back then. All I can think is about how I live at the moment. At that time, I suddenly have a thought about what can I do if we were in a relationship. I sure am won’t be able to make you happy,”

Baekhyun opens his mouth to cut him but Chanyeol presses his thumb gently.

“Hear me out, please. I don’t have the chance to explain to you for so many years.”

Baekhyun nods his head in reluctant and lets Chanyeol speaks again, without even letting his hand away from his lips.

“I don’t have any experience in relationship, Baekhyun, I’m sure you know it. I think about what I can do to make you happy and stay with me, but then I become so scared that I will make mistake and make you hate me. You will leave me alone and realize just how bad I am in this. Someone else will be very much better at keeping you happy rather than me.”

Baekhyun stays silent, trying to understand Chanyeol’s way of thinking.

“And then you say we will not know if we had not tried. Yes, I do realize it now but my cowardice is way too big. I am a coward, Baekhyun. I can’t make you stay with me and after so many years I finally have the courage to do this, to tell you everything I feel.”

So this is how Chanyeol is thinking. Baekhyun feels his eyes get heavy again and his sight is soon blurred with tears. Just this last time, after this he will try to not cry again.

“And when you text me asking for help, only God knows how happy and surprised I am.” Chanyeol mutters, wiping the unending tears.

Baekhyun scrunches up his face, trying to hold back and reduce his tears but to no avail they keep rolling down his cheeks. Chanyeol laughs bitterly.

“I want to reach up to you, but I am so afraid that you may have forgotten about me or even worse, hate me.”

“Ch-Chanyeol, you... i-idiot,” Baekhyun chokes on his tears.

Chanyeol leans forward to kiss his temple.

“I have changed, Baekhyun. I’m no longer that stupid boy again. I’m brave now; I want to show you how much I won’t be afraid of my own feeling and how much the unseen future won’t make me step back. I want to be with you.”

His chest hurts. Baekhyun cries as his heart thumps again and again, so hard against his rib cage.

He grips onto Chanyeol’s arm and nods his head. He is weak. He is very weak to Chanyeol.

“No, Baekhyun, you are the strongest person ever. You are the one who tell me that you love me two years ago, don’t you remember? I think my heart is about to burst at that time. To know that you love me is enough to make me realize how stupid I am.”

Baekhyun nods again, and then again, and again. Chanyeol stops him from doing so by holding onto each side of his face.

“Be with me, Baekhyun. Be with this idiot. Be my boyfriend.” He proposes.

It’s enough to make Baekhyun sobs harder and Chanyeol presses his crying face to his chest.

It feels so good to cry in happiness. Baekhyun thinks all those years back then and how he keeps crying in frustration and sorrow because of Chanyeol. And now he is crying in happiness because of the same person, he doesn’t know how to stop it.

“I love you. I love you. I love you so much, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol whispers against his head.

 

 

 

 

It takes Baekhyun about fifteen minutes before he finally can stop. The only thing left is his sniffles but Chanyeol pays no attention to that as he peppers gentle kisses all over his wet and sticky face.

Baekhyun lets out a soft chuckle.

“Stop it, I’m ugly.” He whispers, voice hoarse and strained.

“You haven’t answered my question, Baekhyun. Will you be my boyfriend?”

Baekhyun considers this. How long has he been waiting to be able to have Chanyeol as his boyfriend. He is still very much in love with Chanyeol. Even more now. He doesn’t think he will be able to take separation for the second time.

“Yeah.” He whispers softly, giving the other a tiny smile.

Chanyeol’s smile blooms and it sends a warm feeling to Baekhyun’s chest.

“I love you so much, boyfriend.” Chanyeol has whispered into his ear, making him blushes a pale pink.

He can’t get used to this yet. The old Chanyeol is so nerdy and rigid. The old Chanyeol doesn’t even know how to stop acting so weird.

But the new Chanyeol, the current Chanyeol is not afraid to show what he feels and what he thinks. He doesn’t afraid to say things or to even make mistake.

“Baekhyun, can I kiss you?”

He sends a glare to Chanyeol, “You stole two kisses from me.”

“I can’t help it. I have wanted to kiss you for so many years.”

Baekhyun blushes and nods, “Alright, go ahead.”

Chanyeol grins and holds his face up.

The moment their lips met, Baekhyun loses his self and replies into the kiss with such feelings mirroring the way Chanyeol is doing. They have been held up for years and now that they have each other in their arms, there is no more reason to hold back.

This may be their third kiss only and they have just become boyfriends in less than five minutes, but the way Chanyeol is eating his mouth shows that he is impatient and will not move slowly.

Baekhyun lets out a soft whimper when Chanyeol forces his tongue in between his lips and soon, he is clutching onto Chanyeol’s arms as his mouth is licked in every possible way.

A moment later, Chanyeol pulls back to stare at his flushed face while thumbing his cheeks.

“God knows how long I have wanted to do that.”

Baekhyun gasps for air as he lifts a hand up and hits Chanyeol on his shoulder.

“Stupid.”

Chanyeol laughs for a while before he regains himself back and stares at Baekhyun with such a serious face.

“Um, Baekhyun. I don’t want to ruin the moment but how about your assignment?”

At the mention of it, Baekhyun jolts up in surprise and all color drains from his face.

“Fuck, I forget about it! It’s because of you!” He exclaims, pointing an accusing finger towards Chanyeol.

The other only laughs at his antic and grabs his bag which Baekhyun has not realized up until now, then pulling out his laptop.

“I have it here. When will you have to turn it in?” He asks as he loads the device.

Baekhyun slumps back in relief, before deciding to grab his own laptop and opening it up as well.

“The next after tomorrow. I have- oh god the report is not done yet!” He shrieks because he remembers that he is cramming for the report up until a week ago but Chanyeol happens and he forgets everything.

“Go do it while I finish the last touches.” Chanyeol suggest and Baekhyun gives him a glare through his well swollen eyes.

 

 

 

 

With each laptop in front of each of them, Baekhyun begins typing whatever crosses his mind and does the words vomit. It’s not that bad because he has been cramming this since the beginning of the assignment but with his forgetting everything once the topic of Chanyeol is being mentioned, he can’t think about anything else.

He is well aware of Chanyeol’s glances at times but he chooses to ignore it. This assignment is way more important at the moment. This is worth his semester.

Grabbing his phone, Baekhyun calls for Kyungsoo for help.

“Hey, Kyungsoo. I want to ask, how many pages your report is? Fuck, eighty?! That’s a lot!”

He glances at his own. Fifty seven. Okay, he can add a few more and at least reach sixty plus pages.

“Okay, thanks!”

Throwing his phone to the bed, Baekhyun continues typing like a writer on a deadline (not so different actually) before he hears a soft chuckle coming from the guy beside him.

“Don’t laugh at me. This is all your fault.” He grumbles because Chanyeol has the nerve to laugh at him.

Chanyeol shifts around before Baekhyun feels a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Sorry, not sorry.”

Baekhyun blushes and ignores the way his cheeks heat up. He is sure Chanyeol can see it but decides not to pay him more attention or he will most likely lose his focus again.

“Do your best.” Chanyeol whispers softly while side hugging him.

Baekhyun swears Park freaking Chanyeol will be the death of him.

 

 

 

 

After about an hour, Baekhyun has managed to make it up to sixty nine pages of reporting and he has never felt so damn proud of himself.

“Yes!” He mentally pats himself on his back as he hits the save button.

“Great. Now, can we talk again?” Chanyeol mutters against his shoulder.

Baekhyun jolts up in surprise and glances aside, finding Chanyeol staring at him through his glasses.

“What do you want to talk about?” Baekhyun closes down the lid of his laptop and putting it aside to the desk.

Chanyeol smiles, “About how much I want to hug you and cuddle you and kiss you for all this time.”

The words make him feels like he is flying. The current Chanyeol is so cheesy and daring; he must admit he likes this one a lot.

“Make it up for me then.” He mutters, staring straight into Chanyeol’s eyes.

There is a glint in them and Chanyeol leans forward to him, towering over him.

“I want to hug you and give you my warmth,” he mutters while wrapping Baekhyun with his arms. Baekhyun sighs in content at the feeling.

“And then I want to cuddle and snuggle with you.” He continues, snuggling into Baekhyun’s neck and breathing in his scent.

Baekhyun shudders and he closes his eyes.

“And then?” He asks, bringing his hands up to clutch onto Chanyeol’s back.

“I want to whisper how much I love you even from years ago,” Chanyeol mutters, pulling back to stare at his face, before continuing, “and I want to kiss you until all you can remember is me.”

Baekhyun keeps his eyes closed and he feels Chanyeol dipping down to let their mouths meet.

 

 

 

 

The press between their lips is soft and tender. Baekhyun squeezes his fists on the fabric of Chanyeol’s back and lets the other to control him.

“And I want to apologize to you again for everything I have done to you. We should have done this even from years ago if not me for being such a coward.”

“It’s over now, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun whispers against his mouth, chest feeling all sort of warmth and happiness, “we can do everything now to make up for the lost time. Just promise me that you won’t get away or step back from this.”

Chanyeol nods, “I promise. With all my heart, I will never leave you alone or even let you walk away from me.”

“Okay. Just kiss me again.” Baekhyun reaches up and seals the promise.

 

 

It’s enough; it’s enough reason to start everything again. To start and to begin their journey again.

 


	2. Epilogue

Warning: Mature scene ahead.

 

 

 

Baekhyun has lost count on how many kisses he has shared with his now boyfriend but it’s okay, they have to make up for the lost time.

With the assignment turned in at the due time, Baekhyun heaves out a relieved sigh and can only hope to see an A later. He makes such a big sacrifice just for this assignment. God knows how much tears he has shed for this one.

“Are you feeling okay, Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo comes up and asks in concern, putting a gentle hand on top of his shoulder.

Baekhyun nods his head, “Yeah. What’s up?”

“You are so depressed for the last two weeks and now you come smiling like an idiot while handing your assignment to the professor just now.”

It makes Baekhyun grins. Kyungsoo is such a best friend material.

“Let’s just say that I have gotten a jackpot-likely.”

Kyungsoo says nothing but the questioning stare from him tells otherwise. Baekhyun decides to spare him the detail.

“I will just tell you later. For now, I need to pee. Hold my bag for me.”

As he finishes peeing and walks out from the restroom, he finds Kyungsoo is staring at him questioningly.

“What?”

“I’m still curious.” Kyungsoo deadpans.

Baekhyun grabs his bag back from him and walks out of the building, his friend walking right behind him.

It’s sudden and Baekhyun doesn’t see it coming; but there is a Park Chanyeol standing at the entrance of his college and-

Wait, what?

“Baekhyun!” He calls, all smiles and cheerful.

“W-what... what are you doing here?” Baekhyun exclaims in surprise because he does not expect this, mind you.

Chanyeol grins softly and steps close to him.

“Waiting for you. It’s lunch time and I have this place I like to visit and I promise they have great menu.”

Baekhyun gapes like a fish. Has Park Chanyeol just asked him out for a lunch date?

Chanyeol laughs softly and pats his head.

“Earth to Baekhyun. Do you hear me?”

“I... I do, but... are you real?” He mutters, reaching a hand out to feel the other male and oh, he is real and not his imagination. Baekhyun has been imagining this scene in his brain for so many years.

“I’m real, Baekhyun.” He says with a laugh before poking his nose with his finger.

Baekhyun yelps, glaring at him and is about to retort about something when a voice, or rather a person, interrupts him from doing so.

“K-Kyungsoo!” He gasps, finally remembering that his friend is still right there and most possibly has watched the whole scene.

“I expect an explanation soon, Mr. Byun. See you tomorrow.” Kyungsoo says before walking away and giving him a hand move of I’m-watching-you style.

Great.

“Is that your friend?” Chanyeol asks right beside his ear and it causes Baekhyun to yelp.

“Stupid!”

“What? I’m just asking and you call me stupid?” Chanyeol’s lips make a small pout and Baekhyun cooes internally.

“I’m not- I just- I-”

Chanyeol laughs at his stutter before pecking his cheek softly, making Baekhyun mewls in surprise. Park freaking Chanyeol has just gave him an innocent kiss in a public place.

“You do not just –”

“Yes I just did.” Chanyeol gives him a grin, a wide one and it makes Baekhyun’s heart flutters.

He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out. Chanyeol grabs his hand and holds onto it tightly as he starts dragging him to walk out of the college.

Baekhyun can do nothing other than staring at the sight of their hands locked together like it is the most normal thing to do. They have ever had any close skin ship like this for the years they have known each other. It surprises him.

“C-Chanyeol… are you alright?” He can’t help but to blurt it out.

The tall male glances at him questioningly and how funny the sight of it, as the nerd one was Chanyeol and Baekhyun was usually the brave one, but now their role reserved. He is the one being tongue-tied everytime Chanyeol as much as only stares at him.

“Of course I am. Why won’t I?”

Baekhyun mutters incoherent words as he tries to come up with a reply but to no avail he only ends up making fun of himself. Chanyeol seems to understand what he is thinking because the tall male laughs softly and tightens his grip on his hand to keep their pace together.

“Save it for later, Baekhyun. Let go eat.”

Baekhyun ends up being tugged along the way to the bus stop.

As they settle into the seat with Baekhyun getting the one beside the window, he can’t help but to feel a bit nervous. Why won’t he?

He is now sitting together, side by side with his forever first love and oh gosh, Chanyeol is practically his boyfriend now.

The thought makes him shivers in delight.

Chanyeol lifts his hand up to feel his forehead.

“Are you having fever? You just shiver. Is the wind too strong? Want to change place with me?”

The continuous questions throw Baekhyun off guard and holy mama, is this the feeling of having a lover worrying over you? If yes, then damn it, he likes it. A lot.

“No, I... I’m fine.” He mutters lowly.

Chanyeol sends him an unsure gaze.

“I’m serious! Just... just stop staring,” Baekhyun mutters in embarrassment because Chanyeol and his big eyes do nothing to calm his racing heart.

Chanyeol’s lips slowly form a grin, “Are you being shy, Baekhyun? You are usually the bold one.”

I know, right, Baekhyun wants to retort but holding himself back because it will seem so miserable.

So, he chooses to just stare down at their intertwined fingers and relishes in the feeling of finally being able to do this. Only God knows for how many years he has been picturing how going on a date with Chanyeol.

There is a rush of braveness surging and Baekhyun finds himself leaning his head down onto Chanyeol’s shoulder comfortably.

He can’t see how Chanyeol reacts but he is glad because he won’t be able to hide his red face then.

Chanyeol stays silent for like three seconds before he chuckles and Baekhyun closes his eyes when the tall male presses a soft kiss on the crown of his head.

“Cute.” Chanyeol mutters against his hairs.

Baekhyun can just fly in happiness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A lunch date with Chanyeol is very nice and refreshing. It has been so long since the two of them can sit down together like this and enjoy meals like they have all the time in the world.

Chanyeol has changed, yes, but his personality is still very well the same. He is still that weird kid but he has matured very nicely.

“Finish the soup, Baekhyun.”

“But-”

“No buts. I don’t want you to get thinner than this.”

Oh. Commanding Chanyeol is hot.

Like... his eyes go smaller into slits from behind his glasses and there is a frown on his face and his lips draw a thin line.

Baekhyun chews on his lip, because he is enjoying this too much.

Teasing Chanyeol can be very interesting.

“I don’t want to finish it. You finish it for me.”

Chanyeol sends him a sharp glare.

“Baekhyun.”

“No. No. No.” Baekhyun mutters a melody of girl group song.

Chanyeol puts down his chopsticks and sighs.

“Why are you making this so hard for me?”

The question pulls a small smile on Baekhyun’s lips and he ends up laughing softly.

“Okay, okay. Don’t go all dramatic to me.”

As he gulps the remaining of his soup down his throat, he can see the stare Chanyeol is giving him and he will be very stupid to say that he doesn’t see the sincere love in it.

Just with a mere glance from Chanyeol, Baekhyun knows he has done the right thing.

Sure, there is still a long way to fully forgive Chanyeol from all the pain he has caused him for so many years but Baekhyun will be even stupider to even refuse him.

The past is the past and he really has to move on. Chanyeol is in both of his past and present, but he will slowly forget the painful past and just live the happy present now. Sometimes, you just don’t need to think too much.

“Baekhyun? Are you okay?” Chanyeol asks worriedly, thumbing his knuckles.

“Oh, yeah. Are we done? Should we go?”

Chanyeol nods and helps putting his coat back on. Baekhyun grants him a smile, a complete one with squeezed eyes and sharp little teeth peeking shyly from behind his lips.

The tall male stutters for a second before he bends down to kiss his lips softly.

Baekhyun yelps.

“I’m sorry I can’t hold back my desire to kiss you. Stop being so cute.” Chanyeol mutters as his face reddens.

Baekhyun chews his lip and looks away in embarrassment because Chanyeol has the nerve to kiss him at the public place like this.

They quickly pay for the meals and rush out of the place, with Baekhyun being so shy but clinging entirely on Chanyeol’s arm.

They leave with a smile on their face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“So, you are Chanyeol?”

The tall male grips onto his knees and nods his head, “Yes.”

Baekhyun stays silent beside him, not saying anything.

“Are you sure you can promise to not make my Baekhyunnie cry again? Don’t ever underestimate me. House wife can be very strong.”

Chanyeol gulps.

“Yes, Mrs. Byun. I promise.”

“Do you know how much tears my son has shed for so many years?”

“Yes.”

“And how are you going to make it up to him?”

“By making him happy for the rest of his life.”

Baekhyun watches his mom with a smile on his face. The terrified look on Chanyeol’s face is very entertaining.

His mom glances at him and he nods at her.

“Okay. You pass.”

At that, Chanyeol lets out a deep sigh and Baekhyun can’t hold himself back from laughing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is like what they are doing right now are what Baekhyun has always imagined for so long.

They go on dates, they cuddle, and they kiss.

Chanyeol loves hugging him tight and Baekhyun thinks maybe he is still feeling kind of guilty and trying to make it up by showing his affection a little bit more.

The cuddles are no joke, because Chanyeol is tall and broad and super, super warm. Baekhyun purrs like a little kitten and nudges his head right under the tall male’s chin. Chanyeol never says anything but an amused chuckle coming from his says so.

And the kisses... damn it. Chanyeol might be an amateur in relationship, not that Baekhyun is any different, but he knows how to kiss. He has such thick and plump lips and he knows how to use them to the max because whenever Chanyeol kisses him, Baekhyun is always left breathless and wanting more.

It doesn’t seem any different because there is a look in Chanyeol’s eyes as they both breath heavily after a session of making out, where lips are swollen and red and eyes teary from the lack of oxygen but very much loved.

Just as right now.

It’s Saturday and they go for a lovely date, consists of watching a movie, then buy some clothes, and then a candle light dinner. Baekhyun’s parents are out of the town, working for his dad and visiting the sick sibling for his mom, so he can get back home at any time he wants.

Chanyeol takes him up until the front door and he is grinning happily when Baekhyun offers him to come in.

As they both are settling on top of his bed, cuddling and chatting about light things, Baekhyun realizes then there is a continuous glance Chanyeol is sending him.

“What is it?” He asks, tugging onto Chanyeol’s arm wrapped around his waist.

The tall male shakes his head no at the beginning but Baekhyun insists that he has to tell him because he is acting so weird. Chanyeol looks hesitant and the face he is sporting is like he is constipated.

“I... You... Um, I mean we- we have, ugh,”

“Why are you stuttering?” Baekhyun sits straight to face him, frowning.

Chanyeol says nothing, but he grips tight on his waist, sending Baekhyun to be more confused.

“Chanyeol-”

“I want... you.”

Baekhyun blinks.

“Uh? Me?”

“Yes, um, you. Baekhyun.”

“I don’t understand.” Baekhyun whispers, clueless.

“I want you as in... that.”

Chanyeol is blushing by now and it doesn’t make any sense to Baekhyun because what does he mean with-

Oh.

“Oh.” He mutters.

“Yeah.” Chanyeol mutters back.

Red creeps to the side of Baekhyun’s neck before the color slowly fills the entire of his face.

Oh, so, Chanyeol wants to have sex with him.

Baekhyun has seen this coming actually. He can’t blame Chanyeol, because he will be a hypocrite for that. The both of them are healthy young males with needs and it has been a while since Baekhyun last watches some porn to jack off. Chanyeol is always the one popping in his brain now whenever he touches himself in the shower.

Baekhyun wants him, too, damn it.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Chanyeol asks back in confusion, embarrassment forgotten for a second.

“Okay. Let’s do it. Let’s have sex.”

Chanyeol splutters in shock, “Baekhyun, you can’t be saying it nonchalantly!”

Rolling his eyes, Baekhyun crawls on his knees and settles on top of his boyfriend’s lap.

“What’s wrong with you? You come up with this so finish it. Besides, we have the whole house until tomorrow noon so we are safe.”

Chanyeol is staring at him.

“You are really serious about this, don’t you?”

“Dead serious.” Baekhyun gazes into his eyes.

It takes a moment of silence before Chanyeol is gazing at him with an unreadable stare.

“I’m not the only one thinking about this, right?”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun whispers before wrapping his arms around Chanyeol’s neck to pull him into a kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And that is how he now ends up with head thrown back and chest heaving up and down as his tall boyfriend is peppering kisses down his skin.

“Shit, Baekhyun, you are so fucking beautiful.”

Baekhyun wants to chuckle at the rare curse word Chanyeol is saying but his voice dies in his throat when the tall male envelopes his nipple with his warm lips.

“Nnnh...”

Chanyeol grounds himself down, eliciting a breathless gasp from him when their equally erect cocks slide together, bare against bare.

“Hurry up,” Baekhyun insists, lifting a knee up and spreading the other one wider open.

Chanyeol is breathing so hard, fingers splaying on Baekhyun’s hips digging tight.

Baekhyun’s erratic breathing echoes in the silent room as his tall boyfriend makes rounds of kisses down his skin, purposely avoiding his leaking cock and going straight to mark his inner thigh.

He yelps, however, when Chanyeol suddenly flips him down to his stomach.

“I want to do this.” He whispers against his shoulder blade.

“Do what?”

Chanyeol answers him by lifting his hips up and leaning closer. Baekhyun tries watching his movement through his shoulder but he gives up when the tall male digs his teeth on his plump ass cheek.

“Ah,”

There is a mark being done on the skin before warm and big palms spreading his cheeks wide.

“Chanyeol-”

There is a lick from the bottom of his balls up passing his entrance. Baekhyun keens at the feeling, mewling in surprise against the pillow.

“C-Chanyeol!”

The tall male ignores him and gets closer to his twitching entrance, eyeing it lustfully. A second passes and Baekhyun thinks he will stop, but then he feels Chanyeol’ harsh breathe against his anal and the very same lips he has kissed for so many times are pressed against his entrance, licking and then sucking vigorously.

A long strained moan breaks past Baekhyun’s lips as he is being eaten out by his very own boyfriend.

“Ah... c-chanyeol, ngghh...”

Slurping sounds come entering his ears, making Baekhyun feels so weirdly aroused and wanting more.

His hips move on their own and start fucking down on Chanyeol’s tongue which he sticks in a while ago.

“Yes, please,” Baekhyun begs.

Chanyeol draws his face back, ignoring the whine from him and there is a finger slowly entering him.

It’s a bit odd but nonetheless welcomed.

The second one joins in almost as soon, pumping in and out and spreading wide. Baekhyun has long gone into insanity to even care.

Three fingers rubbing his warm inner walls and continuously poking onto his right spot.

Then it happens to quick for Baekhyun to comprehend.

Chanyeol pulls his fingers out and Baekhyun doesn’t even get a second to rest, because a penis is pushing past the rim of his hole, and fuck, the stretch is really good.

“Aah!” He cries out, scratching his pillow.

Chanyeol grunts, pushing in more inches.

Baekhyun feels his head spins. He is doing this. Finally. After so many years longing for the tall boy, he now has his dick inside of him.

“Chanyeol!!” He screams when the tall male pushes in completely.

It’s so fucking good.

They stop moving for like five seconds before Chanyeol then drags out and pushes in, repeating that for a moment until finally he loses his control and begins jack hammering into him.

Baekhyun drools onto the sheets, moaning in delight because this is so much better than what he has been imagining for all the time.

Chanyeol has such monstrous cock. Fuck.

With each thrust and strong ram, he feels himself thinking back to the moment when he can’t stop himself from crying over the fact that he can’t be with his first love. He remembers the moments where he curses Chanyeol and the moments where he calls for his name when he is feeling too horny and jacking off to the memory of his voice.

And now, look at him.

He has that man pummeling his huge cock in and out of his ass hole.

“Baekhyun, unff,”

“Chanyeol, c-close- ah, oh, ooohh...”

The tall male surprisingly pulls out. Baekhyun moans in frustration because how dare he.

But he is being spun back to lay in his back and in a swift moment, Chanyeol is back entering him with a groan.

The movement is more composed this time, and Baekhyun can’t help but to stare at the pleasured face Chanyeol is making.

It feels very special because they are each other’s first love and now they are losing their first time together as well.

Warmth filling his heart all of sudden, Baekhyun wraps his arms around the male’s shoulder todrag him down despite him thrusting powerfully into him.

“I l-love you, Chan. S-So much...”

Chanyeol stills his movement and draws back far enough to look into his eyes.

“I love you, too. More than you know.”

Baekhyun smiles up at him.

“I’m so happy to hear that. So freaking happy that I’m losing my mind.” He whispers, thumbing at Chanyeol’s cheek tenderly.

Chanyeol stares, “I’m sorry for all the pain, Baek. Really, really sorry.”

Baekhyun pecks his lips, “Let’s try to move on. I have you now and you have me. Just living the present is enough for me.”

Chanyeol dips down to kiss his lips slowly, relishing the strong feeling between them.

“I promise to never walk away again. I promise to never let you walk away from me either.”

Baekhyun feels tears prick at the corner of his eyes and he smiles widely.

“Just give me one more promise though, Chanyeol.”

“What is it?”

“Promise me that... this is a new beginning for us and we will be okay.”

Chanyeol kisses his temple.

“We will be more than okay. Trust me.”

Baekhyun nods.

It doesn’t take long before they finish their orgasm and bask in the feeling of loving each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the morning, Baekhyun is riding his boyfriend’s dick like a pro because seeing Chanyeol sleeping all naked and cute beside him and feeling his morning wood poking his lower back is making him horny as well.

So he ends up riding him once and then taken against his computer desk once and getting a blowjob in the shower.

It takes them about another hour before they are clean and clothed neatly. By the time they are cuddling on a brand new sheet after changing it, Baekhyun’s stomach growls for food.

“I’m hungry.” He moans before reluctantly getting up onto his feet, Chanyeol not far from him.

Baekhyun fixes them a simple dish of brown rice mixed with minced beef and scrambled eggs. Chanyeol’s eyes shine as he digs in immediately. Baekhyun watches his boyfriend slupring down the dish he cooks happily.

It’s been another dream of him to cook for Chanyeol and watch him eat it happily as if it was the most delicious food in the whole world.

“You are really good, Baekhyun. Who knows you can cook really well now,” Chanyeol comments, sending him a wide grin that is so blinding that makes Baekhyun sighs fondly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

As they are back cuddling on the couch in the living room, Baekhyun locks his gaze onto his boyfriend as the tall male is watching some music program in the TV.

As if he was sensing his gaze on him, Chanyeol looks down and finds himself a pair of droopy puppy eyes staring intently at him. He smiles and dips low enough to kiss his temple.

“What are you looking at?” He asks.

Baekhyun lets out a small smile, shaking his head.

“Nothing. Just looking at the definition of love.”

Chanyeol laughs at his answer.

“When do you get so cheesy, huh?” He retorts as he rubs their noses together.

It pulls a light laugh from Baekhyun’s lips and he settles to bury his face into Chanyeol’s neck.

“I love you so much. I really do.” He whispers.

He feels Chanyeol’s arms tightening around him, as if he was reassuring him that he won’t go away.

“I love you more. Even before you do.”

Baekhyun’s mouth curves into a smile as he remembers the moment where he doesn’t even know that there is a Park Chanyeol as his classmate. He remembers Chanyeol being the one approaching him and that is the time when their story starts.

“I know, right. You are so creepy. You follow me around like a stalker.”

Chanyeol knocks his head with his knuckles, making Baekhyun whines like a kicked puppy.

“I’m sorry that I’m just trying to get the attention of some classmate I like so much. I’m not a stalker, mind you.”

“You appear at the times I never think you will. You are creepy, Chanyeol. Admit it.”

“No-”

“I’m six meters from the school and I’m walking alone, until suddenly you come up like a ghost.”

Chanyeol stays silent.

“Okay. I do stalk you a few times but that is only because I need to keep you in my sight or I will lose you.”

“See who’s being so cheesy now.” Baekhyun teases, pecking his cheek softly.

Chanyeol pinches his nose and Baekhyun wails like a kid.

“I do that just so that I won’t lose you. See, even in the tender age of teenage I manage to keep you in my mind all the time. I think it is just a mere puppy crush but who knows you haunt my brain in every minute that I actually… fall for you, love.”

Baekhyun grips onto Chanyeol’s shirt and he nods shyly.

“Yeah.”

Chanyeol cradles him closer.

“I know I should not say this, but I’m quite thankful that we are both getting hurt in this process, Baekhyun. I’m once a very foolish and childish boy, I still am sometimes, but I think with the short separation we have, it helps me growing up and now I know that I should never let something so dear to me go that easily. That time helps me realize on how much I’m in love with you and how much of a stupid I am.”

Baekhyun watches as he talks.

“It helps me a lot, Baekhyun. It helps me to be a better person now, a more matured person, a person who now knows what to prioritize in his life, a person who will not repeat the same mistake of letting you go for the second time. I promise, I won’t.”

He says it so sincerely that Baekhyun finds tears filling his eyes and he nods his head eagerly.

“Me, too. You grow up. I grow up. That time hurts me so much, but now I’m not the same stupid boy who thinks that love is the only thing I have. I know now that I have been through a lot and that I learn to make the best decision I can come up with. It’s all thanks to you, Chanyeol.”

“We are being so emotional, don’t you think so?” Chanyeol teases as he thumbs Baekhyun’s cheek so tenderly.

Baekhyun chuckles, nodding.

“You start it.”

“I love you.” Chanyeol tells before pecking his mouth so suddenly.

Baekhyun blinks in surprise and then he sits back onto his shin, only to hold Chanyeol’s face I his palms.

“I love you so much, my dear giant silly boy, Chan.” He says as he peppers kisses all over the other’s face.

Chanyeol closes his eyes as he gets the treatment, a happy smile lingering on his lips.

He exchanges the position and he now is the one pressing a kiss on every inch of Baekhyun’s face.

“My sunshine in the darkness, my savior in every second, my umbrella in rainy days, my puppy in every moment, Baek. You hold the biggest part of my heart. You do.”

Baekhyun grins as he gets the softest kiss of the day on his lips.

His chest feels so full and warm and the feeling is so indescribable that he doesn’t want to change it for anything in the whole world.

His heart throbs for this goofy smiling giant here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol looks at him with so much love that it melts him.

Baekhyun has never been so happy before.

And then he thinks, it’s really not a mistake to begin again with Chanyeol.

He loves him too much.

Chanyeol catches his stare.

He kisses him sweetly again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is being credited to myself, because this is my first love story. Everything is a fact up until the separation; the meeting up again is something I make up (and something I hope but not happening and will not be happening).
> 
> ***This is planned to have a smut scene but I don't see it fits here, so I'm wondering whether you would like to read the smut part? If it was a yes, then maybe I can post in in a separate chapter later. ^^ -- Done.
> 
> Hope you like what I have poured from my life. First love is hard to forget, I'm sure most of you all feel the same.
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated and do share if you had the same bitter love story like me. Thanks for reading!


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